National Lampoon’s Meets Stakeout
A few times a year, a bird gets into my chimney. I have by now perfected the technique of letting it in through the fireplace and out a window.
Today, however, was the first time a squirrel popped out. Here’s the photo and message I posted on Facebook (find me here) about the incident:
Long story, but it took about an hour to get this squirrel out of my house. He kept trying to squeeze through the crack in the door, rather than walk 2 feet around it to freedom. I couldn’t criticize him, though, reflecting that his situation was perhaps a metaphor for my own life. Plus, I banged my head twice on that chandelier.
When we were at this standoff, I actually made tea and just stood against the far wall, watching the thing. I needed it to walk out of that nook so I could push it out of the door (with a broom). But it was taking too long, so I had my son get a long stick and stand on the deck outside, to get the squirrel away from that side of the door. It was a team effort.
Get one of those annoying compressed air noise makers sports fans buy. A couple toots should motivate him.
Why not just add a metal grate to the top of your chimney to keep the wildlife out?
Bob has already taught them to use the door.
You just wanted to show off your nice polished floor and charming backwoods view right?
He kept trying to squeeze through the crack in the door,
Why not open the door fully, instead of 90 degrees?
Daniel, do you really think I stood there for an hour, and didn’t try opening the door? Because he was too dumb to walk around the door. I had the door open to maximize the crack space, hoping he could squeeze through, but he couldn’t. If I opened the door all the way, he would just be pressed against the wall and the door.
do you really think I stood there for an hour, and didn’t try opening the door?
The picture you posted has the door open at 90 degrees, not 180. So yes, I did think that.
Well contrary to the impression I may give on this blog, I’m not a complete idiot. Also, I’m not sure that opening the door so that it’s flush against the wall, maximizes the crack.
Maybe you’re talking about something else here Daniel. The squirrel was terrified of me, and was hiding “behind” the door. He wouldn’t walk around. He kept trying to fit through the tiny little space where the hinges connect the door to the frame. Once my son flushed him out of there with a stick, of course I opened the door all the way. But at the moment of this shot, I was giving the squirrel some time to calm down and hopefully walk away from that nook.
And then you slap-shotted him out the door, right?
OK, I get it now. I was thinking you were repeatedly flushing it out of the fireplace and then tryiing to get it out the door.
I have been totally wrong about everything and I am refraining from commenting on this weblog for five years while I intellectually retool.
I have been totally wrong about everything and I am refraining from commenting on this weblog for five years while I intellectually retool.
It’s the least you can do.