24 Feb 2011

Army Uses Jedi Mind Tricks on Al Franken

Big Brother, Conspiracy 6 Comments

Robert Wenzel tips us off to this incredible story from Rolling Stone:

The U.S. Army illegally ordered a team of soldiers specializing in “psychological operations” to manipulate visiting American senators into providing more troops and funding for the war, Rolling Stone has learned – and when an officer tried to stop the operation, he was railroaded by military investigators.

The orders came from the command of Lt. Gen. William Caldwell, a three-star general in charge of training Afghan troops – the linchpin of U.S. strategy in the war. Over a four-month period last year, a military cell devoted to what is known as “information operations” at Camp Eggers in Kabul was repeatedly pressured to target visiting senators and other VIPs who met with Caldwell. When the unit resisted the order, arguing that it violated U.S. laws prohibiting the use of propaganda against American citizens, it was subjected to a campaign of retaliation.

“My job in psy-ops is to play with people’s heads, to get the enemy to behave the way we want them to behave,” says Lt. Colonel Michael Holmes, the leader of the IO unit, who received an official reprimand after bucking orders. “I’m prohibited from doing that to our own people. When you ask me to try to use these skills on senators and congressman, you’re crossing a line.”

I’ve got a great idea. Look at the part I put in bold above. Now, one of us should call up Lt. Colonel Michael Holmes, pretending to be Lt. General William Caldwell, and then order him to use psy-ops on President Obama. See what he says.

6 Responses to “Army Uses Jedi Mind Tricks on Al Franken”

  1. Captain_Freedom says:

    I’ve got a great idea. Look at the part I put in bold above. Now, one of us should call up Lt. Colonel Michael Holmes, pretending to be Lt. General William Caldwell, and then order him to use psy-ops on President Obama. See what he says.

    He’ll probably say that’s how Obama went from being an anti-war candidate to being a pro-war President.

    • yahya says:

      “He’ll probably say that’s how Obama went from being an anti-war candidate to being a pro-war President.”

      nice.

    • RobertH says:

      Heh, Unfortunately his anti-war rhetoric was just that, rhetoric.

  2. knoxharrington says:

    As it turns out – those weren’t the droids Al Franken was actually looking for – so, no harm, no foul.

  3. bobmurphy says:

    Not sure if you all got the joke, but what I meant was that if the Army guy agreed, it would demonstrate that he knew Obama wasn’t really a U.S. citizen.

  4. Jim D. says:

    I got the joke, but that’s not my concern…more like this statement that they’re not allowed to use propaganda on US citizens. Since when?? What was all that “United we stand” business from WW2? Which pales in my estimation compared to the most clever propaganda line of all time:”I support the troops”.Granted, it could have originated with somebody wanting to sell bumper stickers; but I doubt four words have previously held as much manipulative potential. I clearly remember hearing a radio news report during the “first Gulf war” about a high school student beaten by classmates because he didn’t support the troops.
    You can’t discuss the legitimacy of a war, or even the phrase it self without being considered a traitor. These troops are some of the better trained and armed in the world for killing people quickly, but they need our emotional “support”??? Pathetic, that, or just plain manipulation; I’m suspicious of it’s origins.