10 Dec 2010

Naomi Wolf Says What Guys Can’t

Humor, War on Terror 8 Comments

Here is her letter to Interpol (which I assume was an open letter, not something that was leaked):

Dear Interpol:

As a longtime feminist activist, I have been overjoyed to discover your new commitment to engaging in global manhunts to arrest and prosecute men who behave like narcissistic jerks to women they are dating.

I see that Julian Assange is accused of having consensual sex with two women, in one case using a condom that broke. I understand, from the alleged victims’ complaints to the media, that Assange is also accused of texting and tweeting in the taxi on the way to one of the women’s apartments while on a date, and, disgustingly enough, ‘reading stories about himself online’ in the cab.

Both alleged victims are also upset that he began dating a second woman while still being in a relationship with the first. (Of course, as a feminist, I am also pleased that the alleged victims are using feminist-inspired rhetoric and law to assuage what appears to be personal injured feelings. That’s what our brave suffragette foremothers intended!).

Thank you again, Interpol. I know you will now prioritize the global manhunt for 1.3 million guys I have heard similar complaints about personally in the US alone – there is an entire fraternity at the University of Texas you need to arrest immediately. I also have firsthand information that John Smith in Providence, Rhode Island, went to a stag party – with strippers! – that his girlfriend wanted him to skip, and that Mark Levinson in Corvallis, Oregon, did not notice that his girlfriend got a really cute new haircut – even though it was THREE INCHES SHORTER.

Terrorists. Go get ’em, Interpol!

Yours gratefully,
Naomi Wolf

8 Responses to “Naomi Wolf Says What Guys Can’t”

  1. Jack says:

    Well that was creepy.

  2. rapscallion says:

    What’s really funny is that I’ll bet dollars to donuts that these charges will be dropped even if Assange does go back to Sweden. As long as the Swedes have any kind of due process, these women must know that a trial will mean they’ll be ripped apart on cross-examination because they both publicly hung out with him after the alleged incidents. To avoid hard opposition questioning they’re going to have to recant. If they think they’re hated now, just wait until they drop their claims–then the ire will really be up.

    Of course, they probably don’t care. They probably just wanted to cause legal headaches for Assange, and have succeeded gloriously at that.

  3. rapscallion says:

    Addendum to above: not that Assange has been “charged” with anything. Sweden has not issued a formal indictment of any kind.

  4. Matt Flipago says:

    “1.3 million guys I have heard similar complaints about personally in the US alone” But what about the other 130 million guys who she hasn’t heard about. With such a sporadic enforcement, the gov’t can’t help but prosecute the minorites, the pale skinned blonds are under attack now!
    Anything Julian Assange did do is less than 100 th as bad as John Edwards did. Cheating on your dieing wife is about as low as one can get.

  5. Bellisardia says:

    A better title would be “Naomi Wolf Says What No Intelligent Person Would.”

    Ms. Wolf belongs in a burqa wandering through the Arabian desert, her circumcised croth chafing with every step. The day she cares about real women facing real discrimination is the day she’ll be a real feminist.

  6. Fran says:

    Can you add a share button?

  7. Ricardo Cruz says:

    rapscallion writes: “As long as the Swedes have any kind of due process, these women must know that a trial will mean they’ll be ripped apart on cross-examination…”

    I read that he was accused with some broad unlawful sex crime, not rape. Him not using condom or the condom breaking up is the crux of the case. Anyhow, I haven’t lost much time reading these stuff: if someone knows more details, please share.