18 Jul 2010

The Father’s Commands Are for Your Own Good

Religious 7 Comments

For a while now, it often happens that when I give my 5-year-old a bath, he ends up getting shampoo in his eyes. He knows enough to close his eyes when I start putting the (“tear free”) shampoo in his hair, but lately he does this counterproductive thing where he pulls his legs up and puts his head down, so that each knee presses against an eye. This means that when I pour the water over his head, some of the shampoo stays on his eyelids, since his knees were pressed up against them when the water flowed over. Then he opens his eyes and gets mad and rubs them like crazy.

So naturally every time we take a bath since he’s been doing this, I tell him he will be fine if he just keeps his head upright and waits for me to pour the water over it. But of course he doesn’t trust me, and from his point of view it makes perfect sense: The burning never starts until after the water flows over his face, and everybody knows that to keep stuff out of your eyes, it’s safer to not only close your eyes but to press your knees up against them as added protection. So my instruction to not even use his knees–to leave his eyes more vulnerable–is nuts. And wouldn’t you know it, after I assure him his eyes won’t hurt at all (if he would just listen to me!!), his eyes end up hurting, proving that I don’t know what I’m talking about and he should continue to look out for himself.

I think the analogy between our heavenly Father is obvious enough that I don’t need to fill in the blanks.

7 Responses to “The Father’s Commands Are for Your Own Good”

  1. Anon73 says:

    I thought it was going to be an analogy for Ben Bernanke actually.

  2. Mike says:

    Wow, I don’t know which is worse, Gene comparing you to the Nazis or you comparing yourself to God… 😉

  3. English Bob says:

    Not only is shampoo unnecessary, it’s actually harmful. I’m not sure how that fits in with the analogy!

  4. Gringo says:

    1)I make the kid stand when shampooing.

    2) I also put my hand on the forehead, making cap like protection when pouring water. This lowers the quantity of shapoo getting to the eyes when water is being poured (assuming you’re pouring water).

    3) Try using swimming goggles! (Disclaimer: Your reputation may take a hit and I’ve never tried it)

    4) How does your wife not get into this trouble? Observer and adapt.

    5) You could tell your kid to protect his eyes any ways he wants to. Atleast this will dispel the notion that you’re the cause and teach the kid about cause and effect.

    6) Go back to doing economics. Marginal productivity is greater there.

    7) Wait it out. Time’s on your side, and the kid’s getting older every day.


  5. Knox Harrington says:

    I am putting down my pork and shellfish lunch right now. Oh, wait a second, my “father’s commands” were time and place appropriate for the middle east at the terminus of pre-history and no longer apply to our dietary conundrums now. Oh well, back to lunch ….

  6. lvmienthusiast says:


    I just wanted to give you a heads-up on the “tear free” shampoos. They have PEGs in them which are numbing agents and pose a possible cancer risk. However, baby shampoos happen to be one of the least offensive shampoos in terms of carcinogens and chemicals, so just tell your son to close his eyes until all the shampoo is out of the hair.


    I’m not exactly of the buy everything that is “natural” or “organic” ilk, but I thought you should know about this.