13 May 2009

Star Trek: Get Me to Sickbay, I’m Gonna Puke

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I’m sorry kids, I was not happy with the latest Star Trek, and I was a massive Trek geek in junior high / first portion of high school. (Don’t ask me how many dates I had.) I think the TNG episode where LaForge accidentally has the Holodeck create Moriarity with his slip of the tongue is a work of science fiction art. And oh my gosh, when I was a little kid, half of my playing involved me running around the house “on” the bridge of the original series’ Enterprise.

So I’m sorry to say that I cannot endorse the movie I saw last night. The casting was very good, and the kid playing Kirk was perfect. But COME ON–can’t they have some sort of Implausibility Veto when it comes to these scripts?

And don’t tell me, “Ha ha, it’s a movie about faster-than-light space travel and teleportation devices, and here’s Bob whining about plausibility.” There’s a difference between (a) a script involving suspense when a ship is attacked by photon torpedoes, and (b) a script involving suspense when a Federation officer tries to mow somebody’s lawn with photon torpedoes.

I don’t want to give spoilers on the front page, so in the comments I’ll share my pain with those of you who saw this joke.

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