02 Nov 2008

This Tuesday…Vote Elvis for King!

All Posts No Comments

My friend “Aristos” was a monarchist during our undergraduate years. (What’s funny is that I think I am more sympathetic to this system than he now is.) On a recent blog post, he paid tribute to Elvis who made more money this year than Madonna did, despite her advantage of a beating heart. Wiseguy that I am, I said in the comments, “I thought you no longer endorsed monarchy?” Aristos then dazzled me with this retort:

But just look at Elvis’s positions on the issues.

On liberty:
“You can do anything that you want to do,
But uh-uh honey stay off of my shoes.”

On the domestic surveillance:
“So if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello.
Will I still see suspicion in your eyes?
Here we go again.
Asking where I’ve been.
You can see the tears are real
I’m crying.
We can’t go on together with suspicious minds.
And we can’t build our dreams on suspicious minds.”

On crime and punishment:
“He buys a gun, steals a car, tries to run, but he don’t get far–and his momma cries.”

On women:
“A hard headed woman, a soft hearted man, been the cause of trouble ever since the world began, oh yeah!”

On STD’s:
“I’m just a hunk-a-hunk of burnin’ love.”

On the Bush Doctrine:
“Well please don’t ask me what’s on my mind.
I’m a little mixed up, but I feel fine.”

On torture:
“Don’t be cruel.”

For the Bush Doctrine, we also would have accepted:
“Regrets, I’ve had a few.
But then again, too few to mention.”

Comments are closed.