06
Jan
2014
Unit Humor
I just tweeted this:
Guy walks into a bar in Minnesota: “Damn it’s minus 40 degrees out there!” The bartender says “Celsius or Fahrenheit?” Guy answers, “Both.”
Follow me @BobMurphyEcon…and let your life begin.
Oh you.
Why I oughta…
Three stooges eye poke someone who is really being jovial?
Sometimes I wish words could speak.
This is Heresy.
So it’s the flood, right? And Noah builds him the ark, and he leads all the animals onto the ark, two by two, and they ride out the storm. Eventually the waters recede, and Noah opens up the ark, and releases the animals, and God instructs them all to be fruitful and multiply.
Then one day, Noah hears a strange sound coming from the forest. So he heads in to check it out, and he finds a couple of snakes chopping down all the trees.
“What are you doing?” Noah asks the snakes, dumbfounded.
“Well,” the snakes reply, “we were instructed to multiply. But we’re adders, so we’re going to need logs!”
And then Noah takes his shotgun and blows the two snakes to bits and pieces with pieces of the snake heads and entrails strewn across the forest floor. he then feeds these to the two mongooses on board the ark and they have enough nutrition to multiply now instead of the snakes.
Mongeese
You have been upstaged, Bob, although I liked yours too.
This is bad… even for you!
There was guy who goes on vacation and places his brother in charge of his cat. He checks in with his brother occasionally to see how the cat is doing. One day when he calls up his brother states that his cat is dead.
“That is awful,” The brother on vacation says, “Isn’t there any better way you could have broken the news to me?”
“I mean you could have started out with the cat was spooked and went on the roof, then wen I called again said, ‘The cat is looking a little malnourished’, then later you could have told me the cat died despite your best efforts. But to just tell me the cat was dead. Honestly how could you…”
The brother at home responds, “Your right I could have broken it to you more gently. I am sorry.”
The brother on vacation changed the subject. “So how is mom doing.”
The brother at home, “Mom… she’s on the roof…”
He’ll be here all week folks. Try the veal and don’t forget to tip the waitstaff.
Did you hear the 1 about the old money changer lady who convinced the populace in order to have reasonable employment numbers they must accept institutionalized theft on scale never before witnessed by humanity?
It sounds familiar but probably not, as I don’t remember laughing.
A loud guy tried to tell me that one, but finished without a punchline when I told him to stop Yellen.
Life is complex. It has both real and imaginary parts.
I just want to clarify: I invented this joke. I didn’t hear it from someone else. Not sure if that makes it better or worse.
Better. Definitely better.
Agree w/ Samson.
New punchline:
“Absolutely!”
Oh I like that!
Man, that’s so wrong. It’s not just 180 degrees off, it’s 273 degrees off!