(I used to do a mean impression of Dana Carvey doing Johnny Carson.)
OK, it turns out that people attempting suicide with nail guns–even with multiple shots–is not as unheard-of as some of us thought.
Frequent commenter and thorn in my side Ken B. points us to this example of a guy who apparently attempted suicide by shooting himself 8 times in the head with a nail gun.
Now in my defense, even in this case, the guy had a history of “psychiatric care” and the document says, “Penetrating head injury with nail-gun use is sometimes seen, but cases with multiple nails are rare.” So even on its own terms, if the particular CEO under investigation did indeed kill himself with 7 or 8 nail gun shots to the torso and head (and especially if he hasn’t been in and out of clinics, which we don’t know either way), then it is still an extremely unusual case.
But, Ken B. is right that the coroner’s report is not as patently absurd as I had made it out to be. (I had toyed with saying that this very admission makes me long for a nail gun, but that would be in poor taste I’m thinking.)
Don’t get me wrong, kids, I still think there is something sinister afoot in the financial sector. All I’m doing in this post is letting everyone realize that nail-gun suicide attempts are a real thing.