27 Aug 2011

A Dark Day in Soccer Lore

Humor 5 Comments

My son’s soccer coach was out of town, so he asked me to coach today’s game. It was a tough one: We only had 5 guys show up (my own son was sick), meaning there was just 1 sub. It was about 90 degrees out, the game starting at 11:45. Plus the field was much bigger than what the boys practice on.

In the first half I was coaching to win. By the second half I was coaching to avoid a lawsuit over heatstroke. I resisted the urge to yell, “C’mon! You guys are playing like a bunch of 6-year-olds!”

The other team won, 8 to 6. I ride off into the sunset with a career record of 0 and 1, the losingest coach in HYSA history.

5 Responses to “A Dark Day in Soccer Lore”

  1. Aristos says:
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    The last year of my legendary soccer career, we didn’t win a single game. Then again, when you’ve got a fat kid with glasses who is more interested in the hot air balloons launching from the adjacent field than he is in playing defense, what do you expect?

  2. CMP says:
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    Did you at least pull the goalie and try to win at the end ?

    • bobmurphy says:
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      No goalie at that level. Only 4 kids on the field (for each team) at once.

  3. Dan says:
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    You should have pulled a Willis Reed moment and put your kid in the game in the 2nd half. The 6 yr olds would have been inspired and the crowd would have went crazy.

  4. Bharat Chandrasekhar says:
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    I remember my days playing soccer when I was a kid. I got kicked off the team for throwing mud at people and wrestling them to the ground whenever they got close to me. So I joined wrestling instead. Glad you didn’t have to deal with someone like me haha.